We think that, first you need to understand what swinging is and why people do it. The definition of swinging is when a couple in a relationship or marriage agrees to engage in intimate encounters with another person or couple, maybe as part of a threesome or foursome or group. However swinging is about friendship and socializing, as much as it is about enjoying sex. Not all swingers allow full sex some just like same room fun, others allow only some degree of, flirting, kissing, touching or masturbation (soft swingers). Often it can and does include full intercourse and full swapping of partners, either together, in a group or in separate rooms. Swinging is not like cheating, as your partner knows about everything. You are simply sharing yourselves with another person or couple. To be swingers you need to have a very close and understanding relationship.
You need to be able to tell your partner everything and to have total trust in each other. You have to be able to set aside jealousy and be able to accept seeing your partner enjoying intimacy and possibly full sex with another person. It may sound exciting, and it can be! But only if you are close enough to accept your other half as a person and be pleased to allow them to enjoy themselves, because you love them and want to get the most out of life together. If you cant think that way and are jealous or insecure in your relationship, then it could be your worst nightmare! Swinging is for adults who understand sexual and emotional liberation.
Open relationships: Having an open relationship requires even more trust in your partner. In an open relationship one or both partners is free to engage in intimacy outside of the relationship. Sometimes this only goes so far as some couples make rules as to how far the other is allowed to go. But do you trust your partner? Would they tell you if they had got carried away, how would you know if they were telling the truth? Would they like the other person more than you and leave you for them? If those types of questions enter your head then an open relationship is not for you! An open relationship requires utmost faith in your partner, total honesty and trust, but there are thousands of couples swinging and in open relationships that really do work. Plenty of people do find a way to get the balance and variety they need to make life stay interesting while staying with the one they love, and giving their partner the opportunity to do the same. Loving more that one person is very possible, it's only really our social constraints that get in the way.
Women and swinging: It is one of the myths about swinging that eager males just wanting more sex drag most women into it. That is not the truth! While their partners have persuaded many women into it, it is very often the women who wish to continue the lifestyle, rather than the guys. In fact it is women who are the real stars of swinging and these days there are many women hosting wingers parties and let's face it without willing ladies swinging would never exist. The lifestyle brings about many more benefits than just sex to a relationship, it is a social way of life and the meeting of many people in a close intimate way brings women much of the emotional and social needs that they require with the added touch of sexual excitement and freedom. Swinging can take different forms, but with genuine swingers it is not all "gang bangs" and sex, there is a social and intimate side too and many women soon come to love this lifestyle. Not that women don't enjoy the sex too, women are just as capable of enjoying sex as men and once relaxed they can become very aroused by new sexual opportunity. Men and Swinging (For the girls): It is true that men are sexual opportunists, they can quite easy separate emotional and sexual connections and to many men the idea of swinging or an open relationship is usually a great idea! Reality however is often not the same as the fantasy! Men are often far more jealous than women, he would love to be able to "get it on" with another female, but he is not s comfortable when you "get it on" with another man.
He is more prone to ask all the questions like "was it bigger than mine", "was he better than me", but answer yes (even if true) and he may start to brew that jealousy, even if he does not immediately show it. Once the jealousy is brewing it will not be long to the end of your swinging days and possibly your relationship. Indeed often it is the man who is the cause of a split relationship due to swinging, even if it was his idea in the first place!
Of course not all men are like this, some actually enjoy watching their partner enjoy sex with another and are very comfortable with an open relationship, but beware, swinging works, but it is not for everyone. Wrong perceptions of swingers. Some people disagree with the idea of swinging; they assume all swingers are just perverts or sex junkies. They cannot see beyond the boundaries that society lays down for "Normal" relationships. Swingers actually get far more than just sex, the social aspects and multiple emotional connections are far more addictive than sex alone. We have grown up with societies "normality" rules, and those who go against these rules are always looked down upon by the "Oh so correct ".
People who practice sexual and personal freedom, between consenting adults, are not bad people, they are individuals. They have chosen to take a different path in life to the normal, maybe one that suits them better, sexually, emotionally and maybe (some suggest) even spiritually !
